“I Thought I Was Alive But Really I Died”
I thought I was alive but really I died! Now that I have died, I realize I have been borne! And now that I have died, it is only now that I can truly live!
The day I died:
One day I awoke as a health care provider and realized a portion of what I was doing, teaching, preaching, presenting was not true; the Health Care I was giving, while it seemed to help with the symptoms, only for the most treated only the symptoms of the illness, and did little if nothing for that actual cause of the affliction. I seemed to have seen the light.
In many cases it may even contribute to the prolonging of the actual issues or others, these standard treatments they certainly seemed to be only enough to ensure a person felt just a little better, yet retained enough issue to assure the same person would return again, perhaps in a couple of days for another treatment. Insuring my waiting room was busy enough to pay my bills. Some of the same said bills, actually issued by the same entities that were responsible for paying the costs of that same care for the individuals I treated in the first place. In essence, they were paying me for care and I was turning around and handing them back at least a portion, laying my alms at its feet, but that is another story to be discussed later.
I decided then and there that the care, the advice, the direction of the treatment, needed, deserved to be, no, it was the “Right” of the patient to be included in the examination process; the actual cause of the injury at hand, the whole injury, and not just the after-effects or few symptoms that present itself, this day at this time. Treat the cause not just the result.
I was dead, to the old way:
Examining the issue at hand allowed one to see so clearly what actually was going on in this person their life (their very soul). When I would ask a person what were you doing at the time you felt the injury, the first moment of pain or the very first symptom, but more importantly what were you thinking? In each and every case the person knew with the most distinct and almost supernatural clarity the answer, and if they didn’t they merely needed to ask their own spirit and it seemed almost out of thin air the answer would be revealed to them.
This precipitated a direct consideration in treatment for the actual issue at hand and it allowed the client to as it was put an eye on the actual cause of the issue. But what I also witnessed was nothing short of miraculous, not only did symptoms immediately cease but in some cases the actual afflictions left altogether, resulting in seemingly miraculous healing to occur.
Issues that may have lingered for years vanished, abilities that were thought gone suddenly reappeared, and afflictions thought incurable suddenly and magically began to flee, this was especially true in children. But the most remarkable fact was that bodies thought permanently changed by these issues suddenly, almost instantaneously, revert back to their previous, undamaged and in some cases even better status than they had been prior to the event that causes them injury in the first place! This factual observation was in direct conflict of the belief system I had been taught or programmed my entire life, causing me then to wonder about perhaps what other parts were taught as absolute truths which perhaps were not?
Now that I have died I realize I am borne:
These events, I needed to write about them, speak about them, study and understand them, even publish them. But one thing was sure in me as a health care practitioner it had two results, one, I knew at that moment I must investigate if this seeming miracle was a fluke, why it occurred now, was it duplicatable in other individuals, but more importantly, what does it mean especially towards my belief in the actual treatment process I had been engaged in; what was I to do with this information that I had witnessed?
But more importantly two; I felt that not to share this information, especially with every person who presented themselves before me in pain, liked unto denying a thirsty child a simple drink of water in a scorching desert, especially when the water had been redly and freely given to me.
You would think such information, such revelation would be welcome, even lifted up for all to see, especially by the very organizations that have pledged their support to the people who have come to them for help, but the opposite seemed so. The moment a person or persons seemed to experience an almost miraculous ceasing of affliction, especially when it was clear a long time client would suddenly not need the services moving forward, the institution at hand would envelop the event, remove it from sight, (under the guise often time of further investigation), later deny the occurrence ever happened, and in many cases often seek to destroy the very participants of said “Miracle.” Certainly, they would separate the participants, denying us contact upon threat of denial of future services, or even ruination? Sometimes even eliminate them altogether, discredit them, slander and destroy them, rather than let any word that such a process healing actually could or did exist.
And now that I have died:
But what can a person do? Are we not all as health care practitioners swore to do our “Utmost,” everything in our limited power, ability, or knowledge to help other individuals with the afflictions they happen to be suffering from?
Do we actually do everything we can to help, but more importantly, not withhold but share, pass on to those in need the knowledge we ourselves have learned or certainly was given to us, especially when we are being asked and paid to? Do we give them what they need to heal or merely enough to feel better and come back?
What can a person say, when another person, in tears, asks, pleads, for their ailing child or spouse, even begs you “what you would do,” if you know what they can do to find some relief, overcome this issue at hand, even defeat this “bully” that has been harassing them for so long, and seems not only scary but so permanent?
How do you say no, withhold information, or bite your tongue, to the mother, the child, the brother who is pleading with their eyes, suffering? You can’t, I can’t, especially if I fear to lose my own soul in the process. What, deny one to make a buck, as I seem by so many to be told to do? If a person does that; how about ten, well then, why not a thousand, by this time a person seems to be brought to that same question more and more frequently until it would become so blurred you would have a hard time even remembering any truth, and life in the first place?
You look around and see how people are paying for care and being dealt out the minimal, most cost-effective, profitable for who; ”bowl of gruel,” and it makes you want to scream. Scream at the bosses, the companies, the institutions who don’t seem to care about the pain you are witnessing, only the money, the numbers, the number of zeros in their ledgers. All that pain!
I guess that is what death feels like?
It is only now that I live:
It is funny to think that I have treated people for going on now nearly thirty-five years, thousands of them, and for the first twenty-five of these year pretty much the same way, day in and day out, another small dose of the same old treatment for the same old issue, another what had become a sort of fast-food burger for another person who rushes by the window.
And never in that whole time had any of these people credited me with saving their lives, oh sure, they thank you even praise you for helping them, but did I, did I really? Now I seem to hear that statement more and more frequently, they feel better, no, they are better! When nothing seemed to help, suddenly now they are better, when they had no hope, now they do. They have their life back, their life has been saved!
Now, this is a reward! Who cares about losing the job, or a boss denying the pay? Who cares about the institutions saying you are crazy or slandering you to their friends. What greater reward could a man or woman feel than the realization they had helped another, maybe put their own life, their reputation, their pay, their field, at risk to help another, save another person their life?
Didn’t God Himself say; “For there is no better gift a man can give than to lay down his life for another? For sure! Because I can truly say to you, if you do it for even one, even the smallest or most insignificant of one, you do it for Me!”
I have no choice! I must tell everything to them. I am dying too!
No, I am living too!
By Peter Colla
Oh and one last thing; now that I have already died, I realize there is nothing anymore to fear!
In a world where fear seems to be everywhere.
“For I was once afraid, I now realize there is nothing more to fear!”
Corona Virus? Why fear?
Maybe that’s why He said and continued to say so many times in the first place;
“Dear Lord give me the strength to pass on the wisdom and share the experiences you have so graciously given me, without fear.”